Am I For Reals? You're Damn Right I Am!
You read it here first, Kool-Aid is back and its good as it ever was! New on the shelves is the return of Sharkleberry Fin. In case you don't know Sharkleberry Fin is a fruit flavor, kind of like strawberry a little bit and according to the package has bananas and oranges that was so popular with kids, teens and tweens in the 1990's that by mid-last decade college kids looking to recapture their youth all looked to store shelves crying out as one "what the hell, man?!" As in no Sharkleberry Fin? So thats what it is.
Sharkleberry Fin: The coolest
guy in pink thats not feline.
Kool-Aid Flavors Both New And Old
So Kool-Aid has apparently been around since at least the atomic era when we'd won the war and we blasted those Nazis back to Berlin with Hitler's mustache between their legs. Now long ago they had flavors like [Root] Beer and all that by today's standards we'd look at like I'm [not] really sure I should drink that but then by the 1970's or so they'd primarily decided to stick to fruit flavors like your primaries your Lemonades, your Cherry, Grape, Orange, Strawberry, Lime... but then someone said why not throw them together and have Tropical Punch? So that to me is probably where it began. Next thing you know they started becoming more exotic like Raspberry, Black Cherry, Berry Blue which back then had a different recipe than today. Back then it was Blueberries and Lemon whereas today its Blueberries and Strawberries. Apparently, when Sharkleberry Fin was first popularized that Blueberry and Strawberry flavor had another name that changed color when you made it called The Great Bluedini. Now Great Bluedini was an Octopus Magician. Methinks the corporate think tank at Kool Aid must've been sniffing more than what they're drinking. Yeah, you get my joke on that. I know you, readers! Tweekers. Haha, so anyways yes the Octopus Magician and then too they had Purplesaurus Rex whom despite the name was a purple Brontosaurus with red spots like he had pimples not a T-Rex, especially not a T-Rex like Marc Bolan, and Rock-A-Dile Red who was a guitar playing red dinosaur. Thankfully neither never sang that he loved anyone, let alone Kool-Aid Man because that'd have been too much on top of too much already to deal with. Just look at what I'm talking about!
Rock - A - Dile Red:
Kool-Aid's Bill Clinton.
At least Sharkleberry Fin just had the Kool-Aid Man riding a shark. No, don't worry PTA activists thats not blood in the water thats just Kool-Aid Man riding Jaws. Never fear! So after that the flavors kind of went away as all the kids then grew up but then guess what? Now they're having kids. Crazy idea, right? So they've brought back Sharkleberry Fin, yes I know I've said that alot but just bare with me and now they've also added in some new flavors too. Like Green Apple, Mango Peach, Watermelon... these are flavors they didn't have when I was little but I do wish they did. Watermelon is downright tasty and I might even cover it in a posting someday.
Who Cares? I Do And So Should You!
Now for all of those that say it doesn't matter and it just might go away again. This is true. If we don't go out there and buy some to make Kool-Aid stand up and take notice that there is really a market for this stuff. Hey, its full of vitamin c and its cheaper for inner city school children than orange juice. If you can afford juice and not Kool-Aid and it doesn't just say juice drink on there, or just say orange or purple and thats it then you're pretty much a high roller. You'd better watch your food stamps if thats the case. I'm only being honest here saying that. Someone might stick you up for it and say give me all your orange juice. And forget if you have limeade. If you have lime trees in Mexico then you probably too have a mansion made of pure gold. That being said, Kool-Aid is probably the safer bet. Its cheap, its chock full of vitamin c and its got enough variety to make a hyperactive stockbroker pound his chest thinking of the next flavor to sell the public on.
In Summary
Sharkleberry Fin is great. I like it and I hope to see more like it reemerge. Hey, if this works out then maybe we'll see a return of Root Beer or those other far out flavors from the early childhoods of Kool-Aid Man and retired morning talk show hosts. I'm all for that, man! And you can take that money to the bank me saying it. At 20 cents as packet you cannot and should not look to beat the price.
Thank you and until next time, I'm Mysterwright and this is me getting the jump on telling you what new is out there to look at. Peace!
No comments:
Post a Comment